So, today sucked.
There’s really no other way to adequately articulate that. I
woke up at 5 a.m. with a splitting headache that I’ve battled all day, I was
given some disappointing professional news and the maintenance guy in my
building saw me crying on the elevator.
And I really didn’t want to establish such an intimate
relationship with the maintenance guy.
After burying myself under piles of blankets and self-pity
for the majority of the morning, I waded through my migraine and eventually
pulled myself to an upright position.
I know before long this disappointing day will just be a
blip on my timeline, but it’s always difficult dealing with disappointment—and
I always seem to struggle with how to react.
This harkens back to the fact I’m severely self-aware, so
it’s no surprise I’m always afraid that if I show my true blue, pouting sadness
to the outside world, I’ll be quickly discredited as an emotionally immature
brat who can’t handle adulthood.
So that’s why I retreat and internalize things for fear of
coming off as petty and juvenile. Or I laugh away the sincerity of my hurt
because I know there are way bigger issues out there than what I’m dealing with
today.
But the truth is, it sucks when things don’t work out the
way you thought they would. Whether it’s job promotions, relationships, or realizing
a day too late that your Kohl’s cash has expired, disappointment is
disappointment—I don’t think it’s awful to admit that you’re momentarily
overcome with pout face.
I think what does matter is how you recoup, though. I mean,
as temporarily healing as it may be to eat Nutella straight out of the jar
while watching reruns of Bridezillas, it’s likely not the best first step to
pulling yourself together.
I instead opted for my tried and true method of revealing
too much about my emotional complicacies on my blog. And I’m already feeling a
little better.
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